The Phase is Over Again. Don't Tell Me Otherwise.

That's right.  Being a mother is again out of the picture in my mind.  No, this isn't a sudden thing; me wanting to be a mom only lasted less than two months this time.  It's why I haven't done an entry in a while.  The phase of wanting motherhood was already declining before I posted the last two entries.

As of today (27 August, 2012), I am exactly 25 years, 8 months, 1 week, and two days old.  (No, I'm not dissecting further than that.)  That makes me 9,377 days old.  I did the calculations (and though I don't know the exact dates of my extended period of romanticizing motherhood, I do know at least down to the month), and I've only wanted to be a mom for 29% of my life.  Approximately 2,740 days.  And that's including all the times I just wasn't sure!  If I cut out the times I remember thinking "hmm... do I?" it's down to approximately 2,238 days, or 24% of my life.  So, it's not like wanting to remain childless is a new thing for me at all.

Why am I going to so much trouble to prove that it shouldn't be so hard to believe that I actually don't want kids?  Because I'm tired of people telling me that I'm going to change my mind.  Or while I did want kids, that they "knew" I was going to change my mind.  I'm sorry, who are you again?  Have I talked to you about any of my reasons for not wanting kids?  If you're not Josh or God, I've told you squat.

I don't mean to sound upset or anything, but this is one of my top pet peeves.  Don't assume you know me and tell me all about it.  I've never wanted to be a princess.  I never wanted a pony.  I've never liked the colors pink or purple.  I never believed in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.  I very much dislike muscle on guys.  (Just FYI, Josh is always an exception to anything I've liked or disliked about guys that would usually apply.  It's like, I dislike this about guys, but I like everything about my husband.)  I'm Italian, but am not a huge fan of Italian food.  I usually like movies that are based on books/comics that I've read.  I definitely have not followed society when it comes to deciding what guys are hot.  To me, a guy losing his shirt is a definite turn-off.  So, what makes you think that you know why I don't want kids?

Even if I do end up changing my mind again (and I'm not saying that I definitely won't), that doesn't mean you knew that I was going to do it.  Heck, if you knew all my reasons, you would hopefully understand and leave me be.

I know they're not a couple, but it was the best super "couple" I could find.

If Josh and I never want to have kids, to conquer the world as a superhero couple, what is that to you?  And if we decide down the road that we do, to conquer the world as a superhero family, what is that to you?  It's all between us and God.  Either way, all I ask for is your love and support.